IUI #2 BFN

I am just at a loss. I don't understand why it didn't work. I can't stop crying and I am feeling very sorry for myself. Everytime i think about not giving dh the book i bought him on being a father it just tears me up inside. I am so depressed. I guess i have been for the past few days as I just knew this was going to happen. I am spotting today. And Cramping off and on also. I tested yesterday and it was neg and we were going to test tonight but really whats the point. I have my beta tomorrow and i just don't want to go or see the point in it. I am so angry right now. Mad at the world. Mad at all the women that just look at their husbands and get knocked up. Mad at the women that don't want to be pg but are. Mad at the teenagers that are having reckless sex and getting knocked up and have an abortion. Mad at my body for not allowing itself to produce a baby and to fullfill a lifetime dream. Mad at dh's sperm cuz they must need directions as they haven't found an egg yet after 3 yrs of trying. FU#K!! FU%K!! FU&K!!! I hate myself right now. There are so many worse things that could be happening to us and i'm feeling sorry for myself but i just can't help it and i'm not going to try too. F it all.....