8dpiui

Today i felt AF cramps & back pain but I haven't gone to the bathroom really so i thought maybe that was it. I came home and went potty and my lower back is soooo sore still. I was sitting on the couch and I got these weird really sore pains on the right side of my belly button..a little below. Oh my god they hurt sooooo bad. Then nothing. I have some lower cramping too. Probably nothing.

I had a mental breakdown yesterday. I had a bad day at work as this old hag was yelling at me and giving me a really hard time. The whole day I was on edge and feeling really anxious and moody. I got home to yet another oil bill. They delivered 150 gallons on 12/4 and now they came back 3 weeks later to fill them up!! We have 2 tanks...I was so infuriated. I called them up and totally went off on this really nice girl name Kat. When i realized how much of a bitch I was being I just lost it and started crying uncontrollably. I apologized up and down and the poor girl just kept being nice to me. I'm sure she felt bad but also a little miffed at my sudden emotional breakdown. Then I got off the phone and called my husband and cried my heart out to him. Then i got off the phone and cried my eyes out for another 10 mins. If it wasn't for the 2nd love of my life (my little dog Toby) I would have continued crying but he was hugging me and rubbing he head on me and giving me the sweetest kisses ever how could i still be upset. I couldn't believe the emotional outburst!! I think the stress of it all has finally caught up to me.

Today i felt really depressed and not with it. I am very touchy and very easily annoyed. All the same symptoms i usually get before AF. So i don't think it worked again this month.

On a better note I found a new RE and I like her instantly. I emailed her and got a response back right away. She said she def doesn't think i have exhausted all of my options and that she would love to help me. So i'll be asking for my medical reports to be sent to her as soon as AF arrives.

i hate to sound pessimistic but I have to be realistic too. I feel the same exact way as every other month for the past 3 years.

Theres that pain again only it's not as bad as the first 2....yuck...