8 dpiui

Ok my symptoms are sore boobs still...nips and all. The area around my nips looks a bit different and i have had heartburn for the past 3 nights. I could throw up it's so bad. Plus today i had AF cramps off & on. So there it is...I am burping as we speak. It's horrible. I am also tired during the day but my sister is walking the legs off me shopping. And helping her take care of the 2 kids at all times is tiring me out as well. So i'm not sure if any of these symptoms actually mean anything.

On to some bad news....well it's not really bad i guess. Remember the girl i told you about that had the abortion? Well it turns out she couldn't go through with it and she is keeping the baby. She chose to tell people at work on my last day before vacation and then told other people on tuesday. How did she tell me? By emailing me and putting "pregnant" in the subject line. Then proceeded to tell me she is pregnant and that she is unhappy with me for thinking she would abort. When I brought up the evidence she backed down and said she could see where i would think that then. I apologized for discussing it with another co-worker but she understands that as well. So while i'm happy she didn't go through with it i'm also upset that i will have to deal with this pregnancy being in my face everyday. I talked to her on the phone and she said she needs my support because she is scared because she already has 2 pains in the ass. Can you believe it? I just didn't know what to say. I told her i would support her as much as I could handle. AND that if i get upset and quiet when they are all making a hoopla over it to just leave me alone about it and let me get over it on my own. It will be so hard to hear about it everyday. My only hope is to get pregnant myself. I obviously won't be telling anyone at work until at least 3 mos unless m/s has taken control of my life. Then i will have to but i'm hoping that won't be the case.

Ahhhhh sometimes life just isn't fair. Why her? Why not me? I'm the one that wants the baby? I'm the one that will appreciate this baby. I'm the one that deserves this baby. Why her? I find myself asking this question at least once a day. Have I done something so terrible in my life that I will not be blessed with a child? Did my husband do something wrong? There are so many questions i just can't answer that i feel like I need the answers too. Life just isn't fair.

Going to bed now....i have depressed myself enough tonight...hope you are all doing well. K8 i logged on to see an update from you but haven't seen anything??? You ok girl??